monkeys with tarter sauce™: School

29 Things To Do During Your Exam

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 10:49:17 GMT

I know exam are over but I can't help it! This is so funny!

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to)
   until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez,
   better get cracking" and do some gibberish work.
   Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming
    "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay

form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with
numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral

    symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them
    at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read
    questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself
    out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure
    you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking
    about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five
    minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I
    don't understand any of this. I've been to every
    lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And
    who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a
    new, interesting way to refuse to answer every
    question. For example: I refuse to answer this
    question on the grounds that it conflicts with my
    religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about
    frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the
    instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave
    the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip
     up all the papers into very small pieces, throw
     them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas.
     "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of
     the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this
     process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or
     fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a
     bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's
     Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you
     don't know one, make one up! For math/science
     exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when
     s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest
     to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam,
      eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim
     you are going to be taping your next video during
     the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them
     stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect
     a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your
      things, move to another seat, continue with the
      exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into
      it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy
      it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple
      choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice
      exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..)

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all
      questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw
      your papers down violently, scream out "Forget
      this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e.

      Threaten the instructor that whether or not
    everyone's done, they are all leaving after one
      hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk
      means at some point during the exam, you should
      start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the
      instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very
      derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on
      above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to
      a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking
       that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After
     about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start
      yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until
      they drag you out!

Talking about Friday's Laugh!!!

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 18:02:22 GMT

well this is really fun and i must do it since now its Friday..ahahaha..I found this while surfing, and it was soooooo how I feel, I had to copy it! The link is at the bottom. I found this from Janet, a wonderful Canadian lady's page. thank you=)

Quote

Friday's Laugh!!!

Actual School Absence Excuse Notes

These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]

12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

http://spaces.msn.com/members/whirlingdirvish/Blog/cns!1poQbfdVMOVKLXVcOwq4W14A!531.entry

fun things with english

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 17:15:20 GMT

on monday i was in school for no reason unfortunately. yes! stupid isn't it? to go school after exam despite no teacher bother to teach but only to discuss and gie out marks. and there i was reading *can you keep a secret* by sophie kinsella that ive borrowed from aina..anyway, ive had little chat with chulan and was very amused with everything he talked about..he can speak serious english with slang and people, it is NOT the queen's english! seriously. anyway he was talking about strange words we can use in literature. for instance, in the novel collection of sherlock holmes by sir arthur conan doyle he borrowed from arosh, he started to say the word *ejaculate* which in normal teenagers brain would mean, uhh..im not saying it! but it is very interesting as that word can be elaborate into something else. for example, you feel delightful and its a way to express (a thought or emotion) in words. according to merriam webster online thesaurus;

One entry found for ejaculate.

Entry Word: ejaculate
Function: verb
Text: to utter with a sudden burst of strong feeling <"Eureka!" the Greek mathematician Archimedes is said to have ejaculated upon discovering a method for determining the purity of gold>

so, my conclusion at the moment is english is fun when you got a perfect teacher to teach and technically in our school, teachers tend to follow the syllabus which turned out to be extremel boring. no wonder i always sleep during english lesson in class. and this brings me back to my english courses that i took in Dynamic Language Center in Krystal Point..where i had great time learning english with marvelously wonderful people and new friends such as ameena,student from thailand; krista, journalist from finland, samuel and sebastien; computer engineer from france, maggie; housewife from chinese taipei(taiwan, people's republic of china), shashi; student in my school, maribel; mexican lady, wife of senior manager of hewlett packard in japan, kana and mariko; executive and studtent from japan, regina and kooi san; sales and marketing executive and god..i really missed these people and it was so fun there..where we tend to get serious communication breakdown and suddenly searching for dictionary evrey 10 minutes to translate and stuff..haha..